Most of the email i get are spam from friendster and facebook and other things I subscribed to, both intentionally or unintentionally. I don't think I even have internet social life anymore. It's killing me. I used to have a life outside home and work. Now, it's all I have. I love my family, no question about it, but it's all different now. I didn't know this is what it meant to be married and start a family... Then I realize others have both. I guess it's just me... and my husband.
This came to me when my hubby asked me one time, what it is I missed about being single. I said it's being bale to go out whenever I wanted to. I didn't mean bars to drink and dance, I never did that on a regular basis, I meant to go drive to a friends place, to be on a trip somewhere with out planning it months ahead. Without needing to consider what I left at home and who will be looking for me over the weekend. *sigh* It's all a blur now what I used to be able to do. I'm a grown up now and I have responsibilities, that where it all comes down to. I just can't getup and go. Or spend forever in front of the PC chatting and talking on the phone for hours. That's all in the past.
Sometimes I dream about quitting my job and start running the family business, which I know I have to do eventually, but my husband doesn't seem to understand that I will have to do it eventually. I think he doesn't understand the fact that the family business is something I need to do full time when My brother leaves and works in SG and then my mother leaves for the US for good. The way I see it he thinks, I can still work and run the business at the same time. It's sad that when I try to talk to him about it all he said was "we'll look into it." . Well, that's not going to work. he has to accept this eventually. I will be the only one left to take that responsibility. The sooner he accepts it, the sooner I can feel better about it.
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